Really Good Friends

FRIENDS
Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound
good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series
of promises that really speaks to true friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath . . . I pledge it 'til the end. Why, you may ask?
Because you are my friend.


Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will
help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.