A New Living Will

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.


If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
______a Bloody Mary,
______a shot of Patron
______a Jack and Coke
______a Mai Tai
______a Gin and Tonic
______a Steak
______a Cheeseburger
______The remote control
______a Bowl of ice cream
______The sports page
______Chocolate
______Sex
Addendum
______ a big Phatty
______ my bike keys

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ___________________________
Date: ___________________________

Being So Cheerful Keeps You Going!