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jrbooe
12-22-2007, 06:16 PM
I just checked in to make sure Ricky was alive and well. Although Aja never let him come to the phone I did hear him in the backround and he sounded relatively healthy and did not sound like he is suffering any so I guess he is in good health and has all his limbs. Ricky, we are praying for your safekeeping brother.

c.crawford
12-23-2007, 03:18 AM
Did you hear anything that sounded like Bzzzzt? Aja says she wuvs him, she might wuv him to death. The thought of Ricky slightly chared with smoke rolling off him, with a great big grin on his face.....

bigwater
12-23-2007, 03:55 AM
I know both of those people quite well, and if Ricky is slightly charred with smoke rolling off of him while around Aja, the only excuse is that Aja doused him with lighter fluid and set him on fire. He most certainly won't have a big grin on his face, unless she does it after he's 3/4 of the way through a bottle of tequila.

jrbooe
12-23-2007, 06:18 AM
Well, I can tell you this much, sobriety was not in anyone's vocabulary last night as they all sounded like they sampled all of Aja's fine "off the wall" beers.

aja
12-23-2007, 07:21 AM
And guess who once again wins "Asshole of the Trip" award? Not aja, not Kevin . . . that's right!!! Ricky Roadkill is Asshole of the Trip yet again. More details to follow. Right now I'm making him fix the toilet as penance. Bastard.

"Here's a dollar. Go away."

aja
12-23-2007, 07:22 AM
I know both of those people quite well, and if Ricky is slightly charred with smoke rolling off of him while around Aja, the only excuse is that Aja doused him with lighter fluid and set him on fire. He most certainly won't have a big grin on his face, unless she does it after he's 3/4 of the way through a bottle of tequila.

Jager.

jrbooe
12-23-2007, 09:18 AM
Bad, bad Ricky

bigwater
12-23-2007, 09:23 AM
Please tell me he's still alive.

jrbooe
12-23-2007, 09:26 AM
They kept calling me last night to say Ricky wanted to talk to me then he kept wussing out and all I heard out of him were loud rumbling belches and low deep gutteral maons as if he were being tortured.

aja
12-23-2007, 09:31 AM
We just got back from Ace Hardware. Right now Ricky is doing post-party repairs. I want my security deposit back when I move out of here.

What did we buy? Toilet parts, wood glue and c clamps.

jrbooe
12-23-2007, 09:32 AM
And what, pray tell, did he do to your toilet?

aja
12-23-2007, 09:44 AM
The evening also involved broken glass.

jrbooe
12-23-2007, 09:50 AM
oh no, say it isn't so

aja
12-23-2007, 10:04 AM
He also tried to take off his clothes in front of my girlfriend. She left.

jrbooe
12-23-2007, 10:08 AM
Now, what is wrong with that?

thebighop
12-23-2007, 01:02 PM
Come on now JR...I'm getting ill just thinking about that one...

bufordtpisser
12-23-2007, 03:14 PM
He must have been drunk. If he has to glue his wood and hold it up with C-Clamps. aja, what have you done to the poor guy. Take it easy on him. Remember, he is from Georgia.

FX
12-23-2007, 06:42 PM
He also tried to take off his clothes in front of my girlfriend. She left.

Great, the one person with any sense left. I can see why all hell broke loose.

:flush::good life:dance::OnTheCan::wt:

aja
12-23-2007, 06:54 PM
Let's start at the beginning -

Told me he was arriving on Friday rather than Saturday ON FRIDAY. Then didn't arrive on Friday after all. Which means he really fucked up the baking schedule. And I cleaned. (Remind me to NEVER do that before he comes to my home. It's a waste of time and energy.)

Showed up on Saturday about four hours late. Arrived after I made four batches of cookies which I had planned on making him help me prepare. Then we went to a beach bar and laughed our asses off while he tried to parallel park the new Cervix. First attempt - five feet from the curb. Second attempt - three feet from the curb. At last - I've found someone who parallel parks worse than me. Then he took off his shirt at the bar. Kevin and I were mortified.

Then we decided to go to the Iron Horse. He drove right up over a curb that time. Dragged his car on the cement. More laughter from Kevin and me. Then we headed back to my place where Ricky proceeded to get shit faced and obnoxious. He pretty much scared my friend Judy away. (Today she called me and asked "Is he always such an asshole?") He was dancing all over my living room lifting up his shirt until we started saying "Here's a dollar. Go away". He then dropped TWO bottles of the expensive beer I had gotten for him onto my cement-ish floor, spraying beer and glass shards ALL OVER THE LIVING ROOM, KITCHEN AND HALLWAY. I had to wipe beer off the walls and the furniture. Walking barefoot in my home is no longer an option.

This morning I convinced him that he had broken one of my kitchen drawers while intoxicated so at least I had the satisfaction of watching him repair something that he had NOT broken. I also made him fix my continually running toilet. I kinda felt guilty about the drawer and 'fessed up after he offered to take it to a cabinet maker and "pay for everything". (His friend Kevin went along with the whole broken drawer farce.)

I've never been so glad to see someone go.

jrbooe
12-23-2007, 07:03 PM
Well, at least Ricky had fun and he is in one piece.