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Thread: Kodak -

  1. #1
    Esteemed Member Andi's Avatar
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    Kodak -

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    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

  2. #2
    Permanent Fixture bigwater's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
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    That water skiing picture is funny and reminds me of a situation that happened to me a few years ago. Sorry to take this off topic (if there actually is a topic), but I've been drinking a bit and thought I'd share this story with you.

    I guide commercial rafts on the Ocoee River, and a few years back I had a group of six girl scouts in my boat... probably ranging in age from 12-14... all yunguns. It was a light boat, so I was taking liberties around the rocks on the river that I wouldn't normally take with a boat full of 300 lb linebackers. We hit the top of this rapid called "Double Suck". At the top is a series of rocks that you have to meander around to keep from getting stuck, but I thought since I had such a light boat I could just coast over the top of some of the submerged rocks. I was wrong.

    We hit this one rock, and the boat slid halfway over the top of it and pinned. Normally you would just get out and push the boat off, but this one rock was the only rock around, and the water was 10 feet deep all around it. There was nothing to stand on to push the boat off the rock.

    In my infinite wisdom, I decided to use my body as a drag anchor to yank the raft off the rock. I pulled my guide straps off of my waist, clipped into a d-ring on the front of the boat and dove into the (very strong) current. I figured that the drag from my body would help pull the boat off of the rock. Uhhh. NO.

    Here I am out in the middle of a class III rapid tethered to a raft with a 10 foot guide strap. I'm yankiing and pulling and getting cheerleading support from the girls in the boat, but the fucking thing isn't moving off the rock. I'm not quite drowning yet, but it's not out of the question at this point I still cant touch anything solid, so I'm just hoping that my body drag will eventually pull the boat off the rock before I DROWN.

    Fuggetaboutit. I spend about three minutes trying to keep my head above water, and slowly but surely the current of the Class III rapid starts ripping my shorts off of me. I started trying to hold them up with one hand, but I needed both hands on the rope to keep my head above water. I had to hold on to the rope, and the shorts started to go.

    I crossed my legs in a spiral that defies imagination to keep those shorts on my body, but they finally washed off of me, so there I was naked from the waist down in the river. Of course the girls in the boat didn't realize that.

    A couple of minutes later another raft came along and bumped my raft off the rock and I was able to swim it into an eddy. I sat there holding on to the edge of the boat for a few minutes wondering what in the hell I was going to do. I was naked from the waist down with a boat full of 13 year old kids... girls at that. I was just joking and chatting up the situation with the customers, and they kept saying "come on, get in, let's go". I was like "uh, give me a few minutes, that wore me out" just struggling my ass off to figure out how to handle this situation.

    Finally I noticed that one of the girls in the boat had several bandanas wrapped around her wrist. I asked her to please loan me two of the bandanas, and she did. I tied a diaper out of the two bandanas and wrapped it around my privates and jumped in the boat and we took off. It was only after I jumped in the boat with those bandanas wrapped around my groin that the girls realized what had happened. They laughed hysterically the rest of the way down the river.

    When we got back to the outpost I changed into my dry clothes, and offered the girl her bandanas back. She politelly refused and told me I could keep them. I still have those bandanas, and now I wear a pair of neoprene wet suit shorts that are a size too small under my river shorts just to be safe
    Never twist the throttle with your ego

  3. #3
    RiderInfo Regular Runningwolf's Avatar
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    Ok, here goes...
    I was in the Army for a good while when this happened. It was out in the desert.
    We were doing a training mission at ft. irwin calif.
    I had my squad with me and we were reconoitering around this "abandoned" building looking for a good place to put up a observation point. The whole exercise would be happening for about 2 days so we had time to set in and camoflage. We hadnt gotten into the building yet and were still in "stealth" mode.
    After the outside had been cleared and no signs of movement found, all was clear to enter the building.
    Now, we have these "OC's" with us. Observer Controlers to make the war games "realistic" and fair. Ours was a female and she was quit good at her job as well as good looking. But mean. Ohhh I mean MEAN!
    Don't hate me 'cause yer stoopid

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