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Thread: Testamonials

  1. #1
    Permanent Fixture immortalbitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    not a permanent fixture either


    1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow-job?" I
    turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
    say a word, he knew better.

    2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
    unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
    minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at
    the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, looked at him
    and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

    3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
    variety of candy and nuts! As we were looking at the display case, the boy
    behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I am just
    looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy
    grinned and I turned beet-red and walked away. This, my sister has never
    let me forget.

    4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
    some pent up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
    after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told
    her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
    To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
    threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I'll tell Grandma that I
    saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening
    after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
    doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with
    my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me
    was screams of laughter.

    5. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
    embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before
    she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A true
    story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to
    have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob,
    where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
    leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


  2. #2
    Recognized Member corneo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Tampa Bay, FL

  3. #3
    Lost jrbooe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Leesburg, Florida
    Blog Entries
    If at first you don't succeed then skydiving may not be for you.

  4. #4
    Recognized Member Dgrason's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Nashville, Tn. soon to be Kingston Springs,Tn.
    Quote Originally Posted by immortalbitch
    ....."So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
    My answer would have been: "I'm not cutting off 4 inches for ANYBODY!"

    That's some FUNNY stuff.

  5. #5
    Very Active Member Rider Info Insider

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Southern Minnesota
    Bitch, I loved it. Also I love your new avatar. Hot................

  6. #6
    Permanent Fixture immortalbitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    not a permanent fixture either
    thank you, JAMMER


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